Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Disaster awaits

The Philadelphia Eagles are doomed. Not because Donovan McNabb is injured and will miss Sunday's game against the Giants, but because two Rutgers alumni--Mike McMahon and L.J. Smith--will be in the starting lineup.

McMahon "starred" at quarterback for the Scarlet Knights between 1997 and 2000, as Rutgers compiled an overall record of 9-35. In '97, Rutgers fans were made to suffer more than those digested by Sarlacc, as the Knights went 0-11. Two years later, they finished the season with a 1-10 mark.

After graduating from Highland Park High School, Smith, by moving to New Brunswick, made the journey from "Israel" to "Africa" (apologies to Gene Racz) and went to school On the Banks of the Old Raritan. During his stint from 1999-2002, the Scarlet Knights went 7-38, including a 1-11 showing when the tight end was a senior.

When the two played together, Rutgers went 4-18.

I would not be surprised if this is the first time in NFL history that two Rutgers alumni started for the same team.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Wrong number, bitch

Cynthia, if you're reading this, I'd appreciate it if you refrain from giving my phone number to poor, unsuspecting guys you hope to never speak to again. Thank you.

By the way, my headline is a quote from my freshman year dorm mate, Rob. On a Saturday morning, at roughly 8:30 a.m., the phone rang. Upon discovering that the call was neither for him nor his roommate, Andy, Rob said to the caller, "Wrong number, bitch," and hung up.

Seconds later, the phone rang and when Rob answered, the caller testily said, "This is the United States Army. We deserve a little respect."

It was a classic college moment I shall never forget.