Tuesday, October 04, 2005

L'Shanah Tovah!

The Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah just ended. One of the most important holidays on the Jewish calendar, Rosh Hashanah celebrates the new year. I spent 1 Tishri, 5766, with my family and made the annual trip to my parents' synagogue, Adath Emanuel, in Mt. Laurel, NJ. The Rabbi's sermons were fairly enjoyable and included the following two jokes:

Two Texans are sitting on a plane from Dallas and an old Jewish Texan is sitting between them.

The first Texan says, “My name is Roger. I own 250,000 acres. I have 1,000 head of cattle and they call my place The Jolly Roger.”

The second Texan says, “My name is John. I own 350,000 acres. I have 5,000 head of cattle and they call my place Big John’s.”

They both look down at the Jewish man who says, “My name is Irving and I own only 300 acres.”

Roger looks down at him and says, “Three hundred acres? What do you raise?”

“Nothing” Irving says.

“Well then, what do you call it?” asked John.

“Downtown Dallas.”


President Bush calls in the head of the CIA and asks, "How come the Jews know everything before we do?"

The CIA chief says, "The Jews have this expression - Vus tutzuch? - which in Yiddish means, 'What's happening?' They just ask each other and they know everything."

The President can't believe their network is that good and decides to personally go undercover to determine if this is true. He gets dressed up as an Orthodox Jew (black hat, long grayish beard), is secretly flown in an unmarked plane to New York, picked up in an unmarked car and dropped off in Brooklyn's most Jewish neighborhood.

Within three minutes a little old man comes shuffling along. The President stops him and whispers, "Vus tutzuch?"

The old guy whispers back ....

"Bush is in Brooklyn."
"L'Shanah Tovah!" by the way, essentially means "Happy New Year!" in hebrew.


At 11:38 AM, Blogger jeffro said...

i like the second one...


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